Shop.mom
Attention college students!
I appreciate that being a student means living frugally. I know that there are hardships to be endured, like having to go to Jamaica on spring break instead of over Christmas because the flights are cheaper, you want your tan to last until summer and you don’t want to miss getting presents. I know that it’s hard to support yourself with only your parents’ credit card and unlimited use of their second car.
That’s why I invite you to enjoy the deep discounts at Shop.mom. At Shop.mom, you’ll find the brand names you love at prices 100 percent below department and specialty stores. It’s where savvy college students shop for everything they need to maintain the lifestyles they deserve.
Visit Shop.mom’s kitchen, and you’ll find a fridge full of all of your favorite foods. Help yourself to a pint of fresh raspberries. Mom paid $4.99 (they’re imported from Chile!) but you get them for free. Check out the meat department for frozen steaks, bags of peel ’n eat shrimp (great for a party!) and packs of kosher hot dogs. You’ll be amazed at how much free food you can fit into a dorm fridge.
Mom’s pantry also has everything you need to supplement your $4,215-a-year college meal plan or to share with the seven starving 19-year-olds in your off-campus apartment. The imported pasta that she made a special trip to the Italian section to buy and is saving for the dinner party on Saturday … it’s yours. The all-natural peanut butter that you made fun of when you were a kid, the truffle oil (also reserved for the party), Honey Nut Cheerios – even mixing bowls (great for beer pong!), Tupperware and utensils are there for the taking. You don’t have to check with her. She’s your MOTHER, and this is still your house.
Shop.mom is more than just a grocery store. That’s right! At Shop.mom, you can also find those buttery leather boots that you said looked dorky on her. There are cashmere sweaters that you’re sure Mom won’t miss, scarves that you think are “too young” for her, as well as jackets, belts and handbags. Don’t miss the specials tucked into her top bureau drawer, including heirloom rings from your grandmother and kitschy “vintage” pins.
For your health and beauty needs, again, you can’t beat Shop.mom. Look in the bathroom vanity for expensive wrinkle creams that you won’t need for 30 years but that she is addicted to. Mmm, they smell nice. Go ahead, Mom paid $40 for an ounce of prevention, but for you … it’s free! She can always buy more or just use Vaseline. Don’t forget to sample her favorite brown eye pencil – the one she wears every day. Like it? Shop.mom will also throw in the sharpener. After all, what’s she going to do with it now? Tweezers, nail scissors, hair conditioner and lip gloss … Shop.mom has it all for way, way less.
This week only, there’s a special on Dad’s razor. Try it! In the Shop.mom bathroom, you’ll also find an unlimited supply of clean, plush 100 percent cotton bath towels – yours to use liberally and toss on the floor when you’re home or to stash in your laundry basket and bring back to your dorm where they’ll never be seen again. Hurry! Stock up now. Take advantage of these fabulous deals while they last.
Because after graduation in May, you’ll probably move back home.
Award-winning columnist Carol Band has discovered that Vaseline is a terrific night cream. Write to her at carol@carolband.com.
