Sexting and Texting Has It Gone Too Far?
Teens text more than they talk, they sleep with their cell phones, they consider e-mail obsolete, and to back that up, some recent surveys have suggested that they are sending suggestive messages, known as sexts, to each other at an alarming rate without realizing the true consequences of their actions.
The Sexting Trend
It’s true that kids are getting cell phones at an earlier age, driven primarily by parents who want to ensure the safety of their children while they’re out of sight. It’s also true that many teens these days have a strong desire to stay connected with their friends and others, and will not only use their cell phones for calling purposes, but will also use them to access the Internet as well as to take and share photos and videos among each other.
But sexting is still a relatively new phenomenon and there is an uncertainty as to how widespread it actually is and uneasiness about the legal ramifications that such a trend poses.
Andrea Fallick, assistant director of School-Based Programs at the Tarrytown-based Student Assistance Services organization, questions many of the sexting surveys that have been conducted lately. She’d rather rely on the The Pew Research Center’s Internet & Family Life Project that says four percent of cell phone users between the ages of 12 and 17 are sending sexually suggestive nude or nearly nude images of themselves to someone else via text messaging and that 15 percent of them are receiving similar images.
“When you focus on a sexting survey, you need to know what you’re reading,” says Fallick. “This is important information for parents to know as well, because the source of the information (and how reliable it is), the terms that are being defined within the survey, and the age range it’s addressing are all significant factors in determining its accuracy.”
The Law on Sexting
Whatever the surveys report, there’s no denying that teens are crossing the line these days by casually sending such images on their mobile devices. What many don’t realize, however, an activity such as this can get kids into a whole lot of trouble.
The law differs from state to state regarding the definition and transmission of sexual content via cell phone or other electronic media device. Indeed lawmakers are still trying to figure out the legal repercussions because of what some say is a serious loophole in federal and state child pornography laws.
In most states, when a teen sends a nude or “provocative” image to another teen, it is not legally distinct from producing, distributing or possessing child pornography. Legal experts believe that’s a problem because child pornography laws are meant to protect children from exploitation, and in the case of sexting, the victim and the perpetrator are one and the same.
Tom Jacobs, a former juvenile judge and the author of the book, Teen Cyberbullying Investigated: Where Do Your Rights End and Consequences Begin (Free Spirit Publishing, 2010), says a crime is not committed until someone electronically forwards a sext to another person. Many kids, he says, think that sending such images is harmless, “but I like to tell them that www is not just the worldwide web, it’s the whole world watching.”
Over the last couple of years, several states across the country have been dealing with the complexities of this issue. Many, like New York State, have come up with a more lenient punishment. Earlier this year, New York State Assemblywoman Amy Paulin, along with other lawmakers, successfully introduced the Cyber-Crime Youth Rescue Act, which creates a diversionary program for children under the age of 16 who have been involved in sexting or cyber bullying incidents, or in some cases both.
Rather than impose a stiff sentence, or label a child a sex-offender, the Act requests the courts to ask that the child spend two years in an educational or awareness program, explains Paulin. Following the very public disclosure of former Congressman Andrew Weiner’s sexts to various females online, Paulin and other lawmakers felt they had to take a stand. “We needed to curtail this behavior, especially among our young people, and the best way we felt was through education.”
Jacobs agrees, saying that such educational initiatives must teach kids that this kind of inappropriate behavior is dangerous and that it has the potential to ruin lives. “Diversion geared toward education and about being responsible digital citizens will go much further than a mark on their record,” he notes.
The Role of Educators
Because our children spend so much of their time at school, because the use of digital devices in school has increased prodigiously over the years, and because cyber bullying has increased as a result of that, it’s only natural that parents and the wider society will look toward the schools for guidance on this matter.
In our local region, school districts and other organizations are mindful of the sexting trend and are taking precautions to protect children from the consequences. White Plains School Superintendent Diana Knight says her district has not encountered this type of behavior. However, if it was discovered, the school resource officer would be called in and it would eventually become a police case. “In that instance, we strongly recommend counseling to parents and students afterwards,” she adds.
Most experts agree that school districts need to include sexting as part of their Acceptable Use Policy, a legal document that defines how their computer networks and equipment can and cannot be used.
“I think many are in the process of preparing appropriate responses to the sexting issue, but this is a relatively new phenomenon, and it’s electronic in nature too, so that makes it even more complex,” says Isabel Burk, coordinator of School Safety for Southern Westchester BOCES and a nationally known expert on drug prevention, safety policies and health education issues.
In addition, says Burk, who works with public schools all across the region, a cell phone is personal property so administrators cannot take it upon themselves to randomly look through the device, even if they suspect mischievous behavior. Burk also says that school districts must have all of their technology-related policies and procedures in writing and must also include specific procedures for school staff to follow if a sexting incident is suspected on school grounds. “Staff must be thoroughly trained to abide by the procedures and policies to the letter,” warns Burk. “This is the best way for them to proceed.”
How Can Parents Help?
Perhaps the most commonsense approach that parents can take regarding the sexting issue, says Fallick, is to simply talk with their kids. “There’s a gap these days between parents’ concerns about social technology and their involvement with their kids,” says Fallick. “In other words, they are worried but not involved.” Fallick believes it’s important for parents to fill that gap by talking to their children at an early age, especially about the use of cell phones and computers in the same way that they would talk to them about crossing the street.
Chelsea Krost, a 20-year-old radio host, national speaker and teen advocate, says that parents have a definite role to play. “Do I support the parent who looks through his or her child’s phone? Absolutely not,” says Krost. While teens clearly do not want their parents interfering, Krost says it’s important that they have what she describes as an “open conversation” about sexting, but being careful not to “point fingers.”
Krost looks back to her own childhood that was guided by parents who were open with her about the mistakes they made when they were teenagers. “I think we have to remember that parents are real people too,” adds Krost. “The more personable parents are with their children, the more the children will relax and ask questions. There shouldn’t be a generation gap.”
A Practical Solution
For parents who want to have some control over their teens’ cell phone usage, a mobile phone application called Code9 Mobile offers some peace of mind. CEO Maryann Lawler says the parental control smart phone application is not a piece of spyware but rather a way for parents to know who their children are communicating with at all times.
Code9 Mobile establishes acceptable cell phone usage rules for teens, teaching them how to responsibly use their mobile devices while still maintaining a level of privacy. The application is downloaded on phones belonging to both parent and child.
“What you see is who they talk to most often, what apps they’ve downloaded on their phones and only those messages that are a violation based on the parameters that you set when you create your account,” explains Lawler. The application’s alerting system also helps parents prevent a threatening or potentially dangerous situation from happening to their child, but without having to read every text message on their child’s phone.
“We all know that kids make mistakes and that those mistakes can follow them,” adds Lawler. “Judgment is a late blooming quality, and they are certainly dealing with a different world than you and I.”
Colette Connolly is a Westchester-based writer and mother.
