How Moms Can REALLY Beat Burn-Out
Women and moms are doing too much, and historically always have. As life continues to get busier with its never-ending list of things to do, along with layers of unresolved trauma, women might find themselves in a state of hyperarousal and hypoarousal, and essentially always feeling stressed-out, unsure of how to change or break free from this cycle. Westchester mom and holistic health and life coach, Misha Vayner, offers moms a new way to live through her six-month Glow and Flow Mastermind program. Through this online program, women can learn how to heal and become a true, fully-expressed and empowered version of themselves. Learn more about burnout from Misha in our recent interview, plus discover tips and tricks to help you de-stress today!
Westchester Family: What do you think so many moms and women are burning out?
Misha Vayner: They are living out of alignment from their true nature and authentic selves. What I mean by this is, we come into this world connected to and fully expressed in our authentic selves. Embracing our unique personalities, desires, gifts, and talents. As well as with our own unique and specific energetic compositions as to how we are created to thrive.
However, over the course of our lives, especially in the first seven years of our lives, we receive messaging and have experiences that create a disconnection from our authentic self, causing us to operate and live in a manner that is the result of conditioning, versus who we authentically are.
This disconnection from our authentic self is called trauma. The coping mechanisms (patterns and behaviors) we develop are called trauma responses. Trauma is the root cause of the chronic stress that is running through moms and women’s bodies creating burn out.
When we are in a trauma response, which many of moms and women are in more often than we’re aware of, their nervous systems are in a sympathetic state (danger and hyperarousal) or in a dorsal vagal state (life threat or hypoarousal) putting their bodies in perpetual, heightened, stressed states without awareness and this is running havoc on the entire ecosystems of their health and life.
In addition these trauma responses and behaviors lead to self sabotage, unfulfillment, angst, anxiety and mental and emotional stress.
Chronic stress from trauma is also causing issues and imbalances in their hormones, gut, digestion, immunity, and the entire ecosystem of their bodies.
Additionally, most women and moms are not aware of how their unique bodies are created to thrive and how to live in alignment with them. And this is causing them to live in a manner that is in congruent to their true natures authentic manner, which leads to extreme burn out.
Westchester Family: What are some common diseases and mental stress states that can show up in the body?
Misha Vayner: Autoimmune issues, systemic inflammation, digestive issues, anxiety, insomnia, bloating, painful or erratic periods, inability to lose weight, joint pain, mood swings, paralysis, overwhelm, brain fog, no mojo, lack of fulfillment, loss of drive, adrenal fatigue, lack of focus, poor sleep, and no energy, to name a few!
Westchester Family: What are some common signs of a stressed-out woman? What tips can help people to calm down and regulate?
Misha Vayner: Women can feel like they are “always busy” but are unable to get things that really matter to them done. You know that feeling of spiraling but yet, unproductive? sound familiar?
Other signs are:
- Overwhelm
- Poor sleep
- Unable to focus
- Can’t get out of bed
- Numbing out through scrolling, drinking or eating
- Reactivity – ‘losing it’ over small things
Women can connect to their bodies by pausing and placing a hand on their heart or belly. Then, they can ask themselves: what do I feel, see, taste, smell, hear. Can I feel my feet on the ground? What do I see? This will help women to get out of their head and into their body.
Next, women can close their eyes and do some box breaths. Breathing in for five, hold for fix, and exhale for six. (box is meant to be 5-5-5 but I like to do a longer exhale as it activates the parasympathic). Do this 3-4 rounds.
A practice that works wonders that I learned from my teacher is the 10 second protocol. For 10 seconds, squeeze your entire body for a count of 10 gradually, starting with your feet + taking it all the way to your head. Then releasing for 10 counts down from your head to your feet, so your fully limp like a wet noodle. Do that for 3 rounds.
I also recommend drinking water, washing your face, or putting ice on your neck or wrists. This resets the vagus nerve and brings the body from sympathetic to parasympathetic.
Women and moms can also go outside, look up at the big sky, and look both ways. When we’re in a stress response, our vision (and our perspective) narrows. By looking up at the big sky and looking both ways, you literally widen your periphery of vision and your perspective. This is calming, grounded, and healing.
If you can walk in nature or even just plant your feet in nature, it’s extremely grounding and restorative, which will help to reset your nervous system.
Women can remind their mind and body that they are safe. When you go into a stressed state, your mind and body feels it is being threatened. By signaling to your mind and body that you are safe, you can tell your system it can release the threat.
Westchester Family: What is a state of Glow and Flow? Can every woman get in it?
Misha Vayner: Glow & Flow is a state where you are living in alignment to your authentic self and in flow with your body.
You have healed the wounded and fragmented parts of yourself and come home to your true self. This results in living a life that is in alignment with your authentic nature and being the most fully expressed and empowered version of yourself with freedom and ease.
You also would have brought your body from a misaligned and stressed state, back into alignment and harmony. This results in all systems in the body operating harmoniously and in flow, optimizing mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health and resulting in thriving with ease in all areas.
It also is understanding your unique body, self, and energetic nature and creating and living a lifestyle that is in alignment with that, allowing you to feel like everything is working with ease and feels expansive, supportive and ease filled.
And, yes, this even includes the hard moments.
All of this is possible through deep self and body awareness and empowering yourself with the inner wisdom and tools to navigate yourself and life by relying on your inner tools and self master.
This allows you to be the steward of your own ship and navigate your wellbeing and life from an empowered place within, with ease and flow.
Every woman can 100% get there. I have supported both myself and countless women from the most “broken” places that felt impossible to a state of Glowing and Flowing.
We all are equally powerful, vibrant and magical souls and with the right guidance, tools and support, every woman can embody their highest, healthiest and best selves and glow and flow in their bodies and lives.
Westchester Family: What do you think this work is important for women and moms?
Misha Vayner: I feel this is THE most important work for women and moms because the lack of awareness about our trauma, our disregulation, self-sabotaging patterns, and lack of attunement, is being passed down to our children.
This results in our children being emotionally disregulated, anxious, lacking self trust and developing their own various trauma responses – people pleasing, perfectionism, emotional eating, controlling and beyond.
This results in our children not having regulated, grounded parents to help them develop into healthy, empowered, fully expressed, grounded women.
I also believe that women/moms are the most powerful creatures and so many of us have had their power, magic, joy and vibrance robbed of us because we simply aren’t aware of what’s possible and how to access it.
And by learning how to come home to our authentic selves and understand our true nature and bodies, we can create deeply fulfilling careers, call in so much abundance with ease, create so much ease filled healing in our bodies and create so much positive impact in this world that we all deeply need.
